You Have 0 Friends

Now for some Friday fun.

Facebook makes an appearance on South Park. As does Tron, Mad Money, and Chatroulette, amongst others. Hilarity ensues. Full episode is currently available as of this post, but may be taken down in a few days, so here are some clips just in case.

Surprise!

I Made A Friend Today!!

So I’m Not One Of Them?

Relationship Status

Mad Friends

No Friends

Thumbs Up

Poke Your Grandma

Looking For Quality Friends

Let The Game Commence

Powerful Profiles

Profile Stan Marsh

Ending a Friendship

User vs. Profile

I’ve Got Nobody!

Wow, after all these clips, who needs the full episode, huh?

Why Apple’s Products Look So Good, and Why Others Don’t

I am the furthest thing from a Mac Fanboy, but even I gotta admit: Apple (AAPL) has some damn fine-looking products.

Why is that?

Could it be Apple’s product designers? Are they just that phenomenal? Could be, but other companies have great product designers too. I’ve known and worked with many. Apple doesn’t corner the market on phenomenal product designers.

My theory is that it lies in their design process.

Here’s what I imagine happens at Apple:

At the start of the design process, the product designers brainstorm and come up with various incarnations. They are shown to Jobs for approval. He selects one and the feedback is incorporated. Once it’s signed off, the chosen design more or less remains the same. If a feature or manufacturing cost threatens to change the design, the team compromises on the feature or cost (i.e. they remove the feature or make the product more expensive). The design is never compromised. This is why the end result is so beautiful.

Now here’s what I imagine happens at other companies:

Most of the steps are similar to Apple’s. They brainstorm, create, approve, select, incorporate, and sign off. The difference comes when compromises need to be made. If a feature or manufacturing cost threatens to change the design, sometimes the feature wins, sometimes the manufacturing cost wins, and sometimes the design wins. Every company differs slightly in the way they weigh their priorities. Those priorities are reflected in the end result, which is sometimes beautiful and sometimes a horrible mess.

That, in a nutshell, is why I think Apple’s products look so good and other companies’ products don’t. Apple prioritizes product design above all else.

Can this be replicated at other companies? Sure. Some companies already do, though perhaps not to the extent that Apple does. I’m guessing this is because of Jobs. His unrelenting push for elegant design is legendary, as is his vehement criticism of poor design. Without such a influential and high-ranking champion of design in the company, however, it might be difficult to replicate.

How to Win on Celebrity Apprentice

It’s safe to say I’ll never be on Celebrity Apprentice. But I’ve watched enough episodes to see a few patterns emerge – patterns I think a celebrity could use to succeed in this game.

So if you are a celebrity who is about to go on Celebrity Apprentice, heed these tips. And if you win, don’t forget about the little guys who helped get you there. wink wink.

Before the Show

  • Go through your list of friends and contacts for potential donors. Wealthy, generous friends who have donated to charities in the past are best. Ask them if they would be willing to let you contact them for Celebrity Apprentice.

  • Go through your acquintances and second/third degree contacts. Ask your agent or manager for other potential donors. Ask them politely if they would be willing to let you contact them for Celebrity Apprentice.

  • Take a project management class or workshop. Learn basic meeting facilitation, team building, and team leadership skills. Such workshops are held everywhere. You could even hire a private tutor if you want.

  • Learn how to facilitate brainstorming meetings. If you know graphic designers or creative directors who’ve held such meetings before, ask them for some tips. You can also find plenty of tips online if you don’t know anyone personally. Or you can hire a marketing professional as a private tutor.

  • Learn how to handle and manage celebrity personalities. Ask your agent, manager, director, or producer for this advice. Chances are, they do this on a daily basis. Keep an open mind and shut your mouth while you take this advice. You might not like everything you hear, but if you view the subject dispassionately, you will gain great insights.

  • Learn about lateral thinking. These are techniques to help expand your creativity. You don’t necessarily need to be the most creative person on the team, but it may help. Everyone handles the creative process differently. You may have one of your own already, so it’s fine to stick with yours, though you may increase your chances if you learn new techniques.

During the Show

  • Learn about each person on your team. Get to know their personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and how to best manage them. This can take tremendous effort, but hopefully you’ve been able to consult someone on how to manage celebrity personalities. Knowing each person’s strengths and weaknesses will come in handy as the show progresses.

  • After you are given an assignment, talk to the corporate sponsor – specifically, the people who will be judging your work. Learn more about their company, the product they want you to promote, and the customers they want you to reach. Ask what they are looking for exactly. If the assignment’s success is based on their judgment and not how much money you raise, it’s important not just to create a great end result, but to create one that at least satisfies what they feel is important.

  • If the assignment’s success is based on how much money you can raise, make your product expensive. Charge high prices. This may seem counter-intuitive, but your goal isn’t to sell to the general public; it is to sell to donors with a lot of cash.

  • Use the celebrity status and fame of those on your team. It is an important asset. Don’t hide it, flaunt it. At the same time, don’t forget about the corporate sponsor. Make sure you satisfy all the key elements they want you to satisfy.

  • If you are the project manager, plan for the possibility of losing, even if you think you have a kick-ass product. Identify two people you may have to bring back to the boardroom with you. This is optional, but you may consider talking to them beforehand, so they are prepared. However, if your team wins, this talk may stir up bad feelings, especially if those two hold grudges. It’s up to you on how you want to handle this.

I’m guessing the chances are low that a celebrity would have the time or desire to do this much preparation. But who knows, maybe one season, we’ll get a really competitive celebrity.

What else do you think celebrities can do to win on Celebrity Apprentice?

Biz Idea: Hawaiian Shave Ice Franchise

Matsumoto Shave Ice It started innocently enough. My fiancee took me to a Hawaiian shave ice (yup, it’s “shave ice,” not “shaved ice” with a “d”) shop one day. The famous Matsumoto Shave Ice shop, to be specific.

And I fell in love. With the Hawaiian shave ice, I mean. I was already in love with my fiancee, of course. (Plug disclaimer: her relatives own Matsumoto Shave Ice.)

What is Hawaiian Shave Ice?

If you haven’t had the pleasure of trying Hawaiian shave ice before, let me enlighten you. First, you start with finely shaved ice. Very finely shaved ice. If you’ve had a Slurpee, snow cone, or Italian ice, that’s not finely shaved enough. Hawaiian shave ice is more like fresh, fluffy snow. Those others come off like coarse ice in comparison.

Next, you add some delicious syrup. Flavors include strawberry, pineapple, lemon, coconut, banana, vanilla, root beer, grape, lime, melon, mango, lychee, peach… you get the idea. All of this can sit on top of vanilla ice cream (which adds a nice, creamy component, if you like that) or sweet red beans (mmm mmm good). Then you top it all off with sweetened condensed milk. And that’s all there is to Hawaiian shave ice. All of these ingredients are optional and can be mixed-and-matched to your tastes.

(Oh boy, my mouth is so salivating as I write this.)

Potential Market Need?

When I returned to the hot California weather and faced droughts & wildfires, I longed for more of that sweet Hawaiian shave ice. The only offerings around me were frozen yogurt shops. Good as they were, they aren’t refreshing like finely shaved ice is.

So as Asian-influenced frozen yogurt shops like Pinkberry, Red Mango, and a bunch of self-serve froyo shops spread like Starbucks (SBUX), I can’t help but wonder if Hawaiian shave iced shops could fare just as well. They’ve certainly got a lot going for them:

  • The refreshment factor, especially in hot, dry weather
  • The novelty factor; I don’t think many Americans outside of Hawaii are familiar with this
  • The operating costs shouldn’t be much higher than a frozen yogurt shop

I also mentioned this idea as a Facebook status update and got alot of surprisingly enthusiastic responses. Granted, they could just be friends showing support, but it shows that there certainly are potential customers. Like me, for one!

Anyone want to create such a shop? Then launch it into a national franchise? Methinks it’s got potential. And you can open your first store right next to me please. Thank you.

How Do Entrepreneurs Deal With the Stress?

Kinkakuji Temple in Kyoto Few things in life are as stressful as owning your own business. Being a parent and dealing with kids definitely tops that, but few others do.

So how do entrepreneurs deal with the everyday frustrations and heartaches of owning a business? I asked a few entrepreneurs I know and got these answers.

Take vacations
While this isn’t always feasible or even truly relaxing, sometimes it’s nice to get away from it all. If you’re in front of the computer all day long, go camping and leave your mobile devices behind. But be careful not to plan a busy vacation that leaves you more exhausted than your work does.
Talk to other entrepreneurs
Misery loves company. Commiserating with other entrepreneurs can sometimes be a relief, especially when they are dealing with the same problems you are. It makes you feel less alone and able to relate to a sympathetic soul. Every once in a while, the other entrepreneurs may offer possible solutions and tips too.
Find advisors
A trusted mentor or advisor can help significantly. They can share their wisdom, lend perspective, and help you get through tough times. Even if they don’t have solutions, it’s nice to know a more experienced person is around, watching your back. Experience is valuable, and good advisors can offer it in spades.
Talk to family & friends outside of your industry
Sometimes it’s good to talk about topics other than your business. Family and friends who aren’t involved in your industry can be a great source of relief. They free your mind from your daily stress, can be a nice distraction, and may occasionally inspire you with non-traditional solutions.
Hire great people and delegate
Easier said than done, but if you can do it, life will be great. Hire trustworthy people smarter than you and delegate responsibilities to them. They can keep things running and potentially improve the business in ways you can’t.
Know when to go out and relax
Just as your eyes need a break from the computer screen and your wrists need a break from the keyboard, your brain needs a break from work now and then. So after you read this post, get up. Take a walk, treat yourself to a coffee, or do some jumping jacks. Your brain needs it.
Exercise and eat right
Maintaining good health is one of the best ways to decrease stress. Exercise and healthy food also improves your brain’s performance, so it’s got a double benefit. Make exercise part of your daily routine, even if it’s as small as a walk around the block.
Meditate and do yoga
Some friends swear by this. Meditation can be really tough to start, but once you learn how, it can be a great source of relaxation. Yoga is a great companion or alternative to meditation, as it combines both meditation and exercise.
Listen to relaxing music
Music soothes the savage beast. If you find your stress increasing, put on a good song. And if you’re really stressed (and perhaps, alone), get up and dance. Shake those hips. Move that booty. Sure, you’ll feel silly, but it could literally shake some of the stress out of you.

What do you do to relax?

Bathroom Graffiti and Blog Comments

Is this wrong?

I saw some bathroom graffiti the other day. Several individuals were having a conversation on the wall. The dialogue was witty, snarky, and vulgar. Sometimes the same guy seemed to reply. Other times, someone else took the conversation in a hilariously new direction.

As I was reading all of this, I thought: “Hey, these are like blog comments!”

Then I felt all dirty and geeky inside. So wrong, so very wrong.

P. S. The photo here isn’t of the bathroom I saw. This is just a photo with a Creative Commons Attribution License from Flickr. In case you’re wondering.

Photo by: srbyug

Print Books vs Ebooks

Amazon Kindle 2 There’s a fight afoot. Paper-based print books vs digital ebooks. Tradition vs innovation. Aw damn.

I’ll be the first to admit that I love books. I’m a total book geek. This year, I was going to try to complete a book a week, though sadly, that goal was too ambitious for my schedule. (I’m still going for it though!)

However, I love the ebook concept. It’s one I wholly support as a reader and a customer. I’m not sure how authors feel about them though. There’s at least one I know doesn’t seem to be a fan. As a hopeful author myself, I don’t really mind. I dig the environmental impact (assuming building the ebook readers doesn’t hurt worse than cutting down trees for books) and relatively low production & distribution costs.

In Argument of Print Books

There’s something cozy about a print book. The tactical feeling of the pages between your fingers. The musky smell of old ink and paper. The plump sound of the book when you “plop” it on the table.

In between readings, you can slide out your bookmark and scan the page until you find the last paragraph you read. If you want to reference something pages earlier, simply flip backwards in time. When you finish an especially good book, you can close it, sit back, feel the heft in your hands, and become awash with satisfaction. And then there’s the cover art and author’s bio on the book jacket. Delightful extras.

So with all that, how can a print book compete with an ebook?

In Argument of Ebooks

  • Portability – You can potentially carry your entire library around with you in one ebook reader. With hundreds of books in my library, that would be cool. And yes, I do enjoy re-reading or referencing old books on occasion.
  • Cost – One year, I spent nearly a grand on books. At that scale, I think I would be saving money with ebooks. Students could potentially save a lot on textbooks as well. This assumes the cost of the ebook reader itself can be made up from the cost savings of purchasing ebooks, of course. If you don’t purchase a lot of books, this may not be a true benefit.
  • Internet Access – This is more of a benefit of ebook readers than ebooks themselves. Most readers have Internet access and can offer enhanced features, such as integration with online dictionaries and encyclopedias. They can also supply readers with subscriptions to magazines and blogs, making them a one-stop shop for reading bliss.
  • Search – Even the best book indexes can’t match the utility of a well-made search. Exact text matches are good enough, but imagine a time the searches can also match synonyms & related phrases. That would be truly useful.
  • Notes – If you like to jot notes in the columns of your books, ebooks give you that ability as well. Couple that with the ability to search through your notes too and you’ve got a great research tool.
  • Interactivity – I like how Penguin is experimenting with interactive books on the Apple iPad (AAPL). That is a wonderful idea, especially for children. This could be an exciting new direction for ebooks and education.
  • Permanence – Conceivably, an ebook could last forever while a print book could decay over time. However, this argument depends on the permanence of an ebook reader and the company creating those readers.
  • Distribution – Another idealistic possibility is the ability to distribute ebooks to locations that might logistically prohibit large numbers of print books. Imagine a One Laptop Per Child program with ebook readers instead. Now imagine those children being able to access countless free ebooks. There are other logistics to worry about (power, Internet access, etc), but some third-world countries are already trying to solve that.

The Next Generation

The strongest argument for either format will be the preferences of the next generation, our children. Already, our children are growing up in an age of instant messenging, social media, and MP3s. Some even see emails as antiquated.

If they take to ebooks and ebook readers, then I suspect print books will go the way of newspapers, radio, and records. They will still exist because there will always be a benefit they provide that ebooks can’t, but the industry will shrink.

How to Rob a House with Google Buzz

PleaseRobMe.com focused on Foursquare. It highlighted random people checking into public locations, implying that they weren’t home and thus, their belongings could be robbed.

However, it’s not a realistic scenario. All you know is that Random_Joe is at some restaurant or cafe. You don’t know where Random_Joe lives. So how can you rob him?

Enter Google Buzz (GOOG). And this is scary.

Every once in a while, I’ll check out nearby buzzes on Google Buzz Mobile. Usually it’s some harmless comment or random conversation. Sometimes it’s a helpful tip or review on a restaurant. On a few occasions however, I’ve seen people buzz from a residential location, presumably their home.

It’s not difficult to guess what you can do from there, especially if they haven’t limited their privacy options on their Google Profile. Yup, you can monitor their buzzes, learn about their habits, and even know where they are (and when they’re not home).

Methinks PleaseRobMe.com should switch their Foursquare feed with Google Buzz.

Fortunately, it looks like only a few people are doing this right now. I imagine using your mobile phone to buzz from home isn’t a common use case, though it clearly happens. Perhaps this should be a new best practice: Don’t do anything online that can share your personal address and your current whereabouts to strangers.

P.S. I also once saw a guy buzz about how much he hated dealing with customers. And he did this from his work location, a car repair shop. Guess which shop I’ll never go to.