Category: Management
How well do you know yourself? The fourth chapter of True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership strives to help develop self-awareness by assessing your leadership strengths, shortcomings, and development needs.
The True North exercises:
Basic Self-Awareness Assessment:
The following questions compare how others view me with my own perception. I asked several friends & colleagues to rate me. Below, my self-rating is provided, followed by the averaged score from the others. A 10 is a “very,” 5 is a “moderately,” and 1 is a “barely.”
| Question |
Self-Rating |
Feedback Rating |
| How self-confident are you? |
8 |
8.5 |
| How aware are you of your moods and emotions? |
9 |
9 |
| How effective are you in regulating your moods to minimize their impact on other people? |
8 |
9 |
| When confronted with situations that are displeasing to you, how well do you take the time to think clearly about them before responding or reacting? |
8 |
8.25 |
| When you receive critical feedback from others, how well are you able to take in the feedback and respond in a constructive manner without acting defensively? |
7 |
9.25 |
| How well do you understand the emotional makeup of others and their needs? |
9 |
9.25 |
| How sensitive are you in relating to others’ needs and helping them? |
8 |
9.25 |
| How skillful are you in building lasting relationships? |
7 |
9.5 |
| How well do you network with others and create networks of people with common interests? |
8 |
9 |
| How effective are you in leading teams? |
8 |
8.75 |
| Do others follow your lead voluntarily? |
9 |
9 |
| How persuasive are you in convincing others of your mutual interests? |
8 |
8.5 |
After reviewing the feedback, to what extent do you see yourself as others see you? How strong is your basic self-awareness right now?
I honestly thought I was being a little cocky with my self-assessment. Instead, it seems I am a little hard on myself. Just a little. To be cocky again, I would say my self-awareness is pretty darn good right now.
Strengths and Development Areas
What are your strongest capabilities or talents?
One of my strongest capabilities lies in an empathic nature that enables me to connect with others.
Way back in fifth grade, my teacher told me, “Never judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.” That maxim stuck with me, permeating my everyday thoughts and interpersonal encounters. Every time I engage in a discussion or debate, I put myself into the other person’s shoes to understand his/her point of view.
Oddly enough, this happens so much that I sometimes find it difficult to be righteously indignant with people if I can understand why they’re being insulting or arrogant, even if I feel like I should be righteously indignant with them. Go figure.
Other capabilities and talents I consider as strengths are an analytical temperament, the ability to think critically, the comfort of making mistakes and learning from them, and the desire to constantly set and strive for long-term goals.
What are your strongest attributes as a leader?
As a leader, my empathic nature allows me to build strong relationships and inspire others. I know I’m not an expert in every field I want to be an expert in, so I’m thankful for the brillant friends I’ve made.
There’s this anecdote about Henry Ford that I like. During an interview, he told a reporter to ask him any question he wanted about his business’ operations. So the reporter asked for an obscure detail, like how many nuts and bolts go into a Model T. Ford then picked up his phone, called one of his lead engineers, and and gave the reporter the answer.
Ford’s effectiveness as a leader was not that he knew everything there was to know about his business’ operations. It was the relationships he made, the people who worked with him, and his social network. I aspire for the same kind of effectiveness.
What are your greatest needs for development as a leader?
There are situations where I am nervous and out of my element. Public speaking, approaching investors, talking to the media, and similar situations can be nerve-wracking. I’m sure I’m not alone in these. But as a leader, these are necessary skills to learn.
Toastmasters was one solution I used to use. Once my schedule clears up, I plan on finding a local chapter and continuing. The best way to approach investors, in my opinion, is to not need them, bootstrap, and build a great business. Then they’ll come to us. As for speaking to the media, well, perhaps I’ll attend a media training workshop when the time comes.
Needs
Do you need structure in your job? To what extent are you comfortable with ambiguity and change?
I love ambiguity & change, personally. Too much structure & routine bore me. My attention span at any particular role is about one year. After that, I tend to need drastic change. Before joining Yahoo! (YHOO), I stayed at companies for approximately one year. While at Yahoo, I was lucky enough to change roles & responsibilities significantly enough to keep myself engaged. My career there progressed this way: web developer -> technical manager of a small team -> technical manager of first-line managers and a larger team -> senior product manager. Each role was on a new property with a new team; each was different enough that I was always challenged. That’s the way I like it.
What level of financial security will allow you to feel comfortable?
I know how to live within my means. It is a cross between bare necessities and a handful of luxuries. To be honest, I’m fairly comfortable right now, though I will be getting married and starting a family soon, so my financial needs will be increasing.
To what extent do you need to be leading a team?
That’s a good question. I never thought about it as a need. But I sure enjoy being a leader in some way. If I won the lottery and never needed to work again, I would still start a business or non-profit venture. So perhaps I do have a need to lead.
How much time do you need with your family or loved ones each week?
Family comes first, always. I need as much time as they need me. Way back in college, I planned on entering this industry because of the ability to work from home. That meant being able to take my kids to softball games & guitar lessons, spend time with my wife, and take care of my parents if & when they need me to.
How much personal time do you need each week to recharge?
Perhaps a few hours a day. I’m not a morning person, so the first couple of hours in the morning are generally spent slowly charging up and getting ready for the day. Then at night, I like to unwind with my family or a good book. Writing also serves as a way to recharge.
Your Authentic Self
What are your vulnerabilities, blind spots, and shadow sides?
I certainly have some pet peeves. I’m impatient with impatience. I’m close-minded about close-minded people. And people who speak in absolutes absolutely bug me.
I know, I just wrote that I’m empathic and can walk in other peoples’ shoes. But I have my limits, especially if someone’s ignorance, arrogance, or obnoxiousness is directed toward someone I care about. If it is aimed at me, that’s fine. I can take it. I can even take criticism; I’m far from perfect and I know it. But leave my loved ones alone.
Admittedly, my memory isn’t as sharp anymore. To compensate, I’ve gotten into the habit of relying on digital solutions to extend my memory. This means using Google Calendar (GOOG) to manage my schedule, Gmail to manage my tasks, and my Apple iPhone (AAPL) to give me access to those tools wherever I am. It’s an efficient system, though I really need to do some brain teasers & memory games so I’m not a total moron when I’m a grandfather.
To what extent do you use defensive armor as a shield to protect yourself from exposing your vulnerabilities with others?
Everyone has defense mechanisms to protect their vulnerabilities to some extent, that’s only natural. I am a fiercely private person, if you can believe it. There are aspects of my life I will never share online, especially if they pertain to my family. But everything else is filtered appropriately. Even my online presence is part of my privacy strategy – if I can control what appears online (my personal brand, so to speak), then I can control what is seen and what is hidden. The genericness of my name also helps with the hidden part.
Back to vulnerabilities. This could be the New Yorker in me, but I’m laced with what I consider a healthy level of trust (or lack thereof) for complete strangers. I don’t share my vulnerabilities with a stranger, nor do I believe they are out to screw me over. As I get to know someone, my trust & comfort level with them increases; inversely, my defensive armor decreases. But to a point. To see any more of my vulnerabilities means you need to get into my inner circle of family, friends, and colleagues.
At the same time, I believe most people strive to be good and not overtly malicious, though we are all born selfish. I give most people the benefit of the doubt. So I share my thoughts, lessons learned, and whatever advice I’ve picked up with complete strangers. It’s my small effort in perhaps helping one other person in this huge world of ours. To the extent where I can share a vulnerability and connect with that person safely and without consequence to me or my family, I will do it.
How can you become more comfortable in sharing your vulnerabilities with others?
I am comfortable with my vulnerability sharing levels at the moment. I don’t think it serves any good to pour my heart out to a prospective client, for example. Nor should I hold all of my frustrations in. Everyone needs an outlet. I have mine, which include my inner circle. My circle of trust, where I keep nothing from you, you keep nothing from me, and round and round we go.
How comfortable are you with who you are right now?
I am very comfortable with who I am. I am an idealistic realist; I am content with my life, but not satisfied. This means I’m unsatisfied enough to strive for more. At the same time, I’m content, happy, and very grateful for the life I have and the decisions I’ve made. And I look forward to the future eagerly.
How would you answer these questions?
The True North exercises:
What is your greatest crucible? The third chapter of True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership explores the experiences that involved the greatest pressure, stress, and adversity in one’s life. Here is the exercise that follows that chapter.
The True North exercises:
- Introduction Exercise
- Chapter 1: Your Story Exercise
- Chapter 2: Losing Your Way Exercise
- Chapter 3: Your Greatest Crucible Exercise
- Chapter 4: Knowing Your Authentic Self Exercise
- Chapter 5: Practicing Your Values and Principles Exercise
- Chapter 6: Your Motivations and Motivated Capabilities Exercise
- Chapter 7: Building Your Support Team Exercise
- Chapter 8: The Integrated Leader Exercise
- Chapter 9: The Purpose of My Leadership Exercise
- Chapter 10: Empowering Other Leaders Exercise
- Chapter 11: Honing Your Leadership Effectiveness Exercise
Write freely about your greatest crucible and describe it in the following ways:
- How did you feel at the time?
- What resources did you call upon?
- How did you resolve the issues, if you have?
- How did it shape you and your views about the world?
It’s tough to choose just one experience as my greatest crucible. There have been many difficult experiences that altered my life. Here is one that comes to mind.
Back at Yahoo! (YHOO), I was given the honor of managing a large group of talented web developers. However, the team grew quite large, larger than my experience could handle at that time.
In one incident, a few members of my team helped launch a redesign of a major Yahoo! property. Unfortunately, this redesign was plagued with some troublesome bugs, a few of which were my team’s responsibility. Those few, unfortunately, were high-profile showstoppers and took a long time to fix. Too long. Soon, the bugs caught the attention of a VP, who sat me down to talk.
I still remember sitting there with a huge knot in my throat, trying to explain how the errors occurred. Fortunately, my team finally fixed them. But the VP did not see this as a sufficient solution. He saw a break in communications and our organizational structure that exacerbated the problem more than it should have been.
I also remember saying the words, “This is ultimately my responsibility and I take the blame. I will continue working with our teams to come up with a better solution.” And I think I might have even uttered the words, “I fucked up” in there too.
My face was red and hot. I thought that was the end of my career at Yahoo!. I imagined getting a call from HR and being shown the door. Part of the problem was that I didn’t catch this issue sooner, and I didn’t do that because I was overwhelmed by a large team. I knew that, and so did the VP.
Eventually, a long-term solution was implemented. There was a reorganization of my department. The incident wasn’t solely in my team, it was endemic to my department and the nature of our relationship to other teams at the company. While the reorg was a bummer to many, and resulted in a smaller, more focused team for me, it made sense from an organizational standpoint.
The VP didn’t blacklist me or have me fired. The incident taught me to be cognizant of my strengths and weaknesses, to balance my stretch goals with my abilities, and to think holistically from an organizational standpoint. As a crucible, it was damn tough – it was one I will never forget.
Describe any relationships, such as those with mentors, that had a transformative effect on you and your leadership. What did you learn from that relationship and how did it shape who you are?
I’ve never had a formal mentor, though I’ve always wanted one. In lieu of that, I’ve always looked at people that inspired me and emulated their effective traits.
Throughout my career, I’ve been lucky to have lots of great managers. Each excelled in some way. One is a technical genius with fantastic foresight into the high-tech industry, another is relentlessly customer-focused and data-driven, and another knew how to play the game of office politics well (I wish this knowledge wasn’t necessary or useful, but in large corporations, it sadly is).
Each has enhanced my world view and repetiore of skills. I can’t say I replicate them as well as these managers do, but I strive to. Each also challenged me, both directly and indirectly, to stretch past my comfort zones and evolve my skills. For that, I am eternally indebted to these inspiring individuals.
Describe any other experiences that triggered significant leadership development.
I’m guessing this question is seeking more crucible-like experiences, so let me this other incident:
While serving as the president of a cultural community service club in college, I was responsible for a street carnival. Unfortunately, I overslept that day. Since I’ve already written about it, I won’t go over all of the details. But it was definitely a harsh learning opportunity.
All in all, I would say I’ve had a lucky life. Now that I’ve formally started a profitable business of my own, I expect to face more crucibles. And I look forward to them.
In looking back on those experiences, what did you learn from them?
The debacle in college taught me to delegate properly, have faith in my delegates, and to make sure I get a good night’s rest before a big event.
In what ways have they helped you to grow?
They’ve all stretched me and taught me management skills. Be aware of the whole situation. Understand our dependencies and consequences. And like the Boy Scouts, Be Prepared.
How can you use these experiences to reframe your life story and to understand yourself and your life more fully? Are there ways in which these experiences are holding you back today?
One pattern I’ve noticed in my life is the constant push outside my comfort zones. I am and have always been an ambitious and demanding person. I always strive for personal success and demand a lot out of myself. Because of this, I frequently push myself outside my comfort – and ability – zones.
So when I fall far outside of my abilities, the consequences can have quite an impact.
Don’t get me wrong. Mistakes are good. Mistakes are fantastic learning opportunities. I celebrate a culture that allows experimentation, self-improvement, and forgiveness of mistakes.
However, there’s a practical limit to how disastrous a mistake can be. If it kills your organization, lands you in a lawsuit, and ends your marriage, that’s not a good kind of mistake. So as I continue to push myself, I will need to be mindful of my abilities’ limits.
Transformation from “I” to “We.”
Are you on “the hero’s journey”? Do you ever see yourself as the hero of your own journey?
I’ve always felt myself on a journey. The destination is surprisingly clear too, though I know I have to work hard for it – to be a good father and husband, to be an entrepreneur and business owner, to enact some kind of long-lasting beneficial change to my society and environment, and to leave a legacy.
However, I wouldn’t use the label “hero” for myself. That’s a little much. I see myself more as a catalyst that enables others to help make the vision a reality.
Though, I’d sure love to be a hero to my kids one day.
Have you made the transformation from “I” to “We”? If so, what triggered this transformation for you?
I like to think I have. In Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
“, he describes three sequential phases of growth:
- Dependence – We all start life being dependent on someone else, like our parents. Some remain at this level their whole lives.
- Independence – Many strive for this level. For some, this means self-reliance. For others, it means being a loner.
- Interdependence – Few reach this level. This is when you realize and behave as if the sum of two or more people (such as a spouse, teammates, etc) is greater than the parts.
While being a manager, I learned the power of interdependence. That may seem odd, since one view of a manager is as an autocratic entity working alone to control others. But that’s not always so. My management philosophy means working closely with my team and, in many ways, letting them lead the way with me in a supporting role – a catalyst for their ideas.
If you have not yet made this transformation, what would have to happen in your life and leadership for a transformation like this to occur?
I would say I’ve made that transformation already.
How would you answer these questions?
The True North exercises:
- Introduction Exercise
- Chapter 1: Your Story Exercise
- Chapter 2: Losing Your Way Exercise
- Chapter 3: Your Greatest Crucible Exercise
- Chapter 4: Knowing Your Authentic Self Exercise
- Chapter 5: Practicing Your Values and Principles Exercise
- Chapter 6: Your Motivations and Motivated Capabilities Exercise
- Chapter 7: Building Your Support Team Exercise
- Chapter 8: The Integrated Leader Exercise
- Chapter 9: The Purpose of My Leadership Exercise
- Chapter 10: Empowering Other Leaders Exercise
- Chapter 11: Honing Your Leadership Effectiveness Exercise
I’ve been reading Malcolm Gladwell’s new book, “What the Dog Saw: And Other Adventures“. This book is a compilation of his best columns from the New Yorker.
One of those columns, “The Talent Myth“, tickled my noggin. It was this excerpt in particular:
[Former Enron president Jeffrey Skilling says]: “If lots of [employees] are flocking to a new business unit, that’s a good sign that the opportunity is a good one… If a business unit can’t attract people very easily, that’s a good sign that it’s a business Enron shouldn’t be in.”
In other words, star employees are valued above all else and get to work on whatever they want.
Now a quote from Google (GOOG) CEO Eric Scmidt:
We don’t really have a five-year plan… We really focus on what’s new, what’s exciting and how can you win quickly with your new idea.
It’s much easier to have an employee base in which case everybody is doing exactly what they want every day. They’re much easier to manage because they never have any problems. They’re always excited, they’re always working on whatever they care about.
In other words, star employees are valued above all else and get to work on whatever they want.
Gladwell’s article goes on to assert that smart, star employees don’t necessarily make an organization smart. Instead, it’s just the opposite – smart organizations and processes make the collective whole smarter and more successful.
This strikes me as sound advice. As an entrepreneur, I want to ultimately build an organization that will outlast me. Jim Collins’ book Built to Last
goes into detail about this concept as well. It’s organizations with smart processes that last, not organizations with smart people and poor processes. You still need smart people, but smart processes are probably more important.
However, I don’t think this applies to small start-ups. If your organization has only a handful of people, than each and every one of them will have an exponential impact on your company. Therefore, it makes sense to hire rock stars. But as your organization grows, the focus should shift to building smart processes.
Back to Google and Enron. I just found this to be an interesting comparison. Doesn’t mean I think Google will go the way of Enron though. Take it for what it is.
Do you know any leaders who were once great, but lost their way? That is the central theme behind the second chapter of True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership. Here is the exercise that follows that chapter.
The True North exercises:
- Introduction Exercise
- Chapter 1: Your Story Exercise
- Chapter 2: Losing Your Way Exercise
- Chapter 3: Your Greatest Crucible Exercise
- Chapter 4: Knowing Your Authentic Self Exercise
- Chapter 5: Practicing Your Values and Principles Exercise
- Chapter 6: Your Motivations and Motivated Capabilities Exercise
- Chapter 7: Building Your Support Team Exercise
- Chapter 8: The Integrated Leader Exercise
- Chapter 9: The Purpose of My Leadership Exercise
- Chapter 10: Empowering Other Leaders Exercise
- Chapter 11: Honing Your Leadership Effectiveness Exercise
Why Leaders Lose Their Way
Have you seen leaders lose their way or worked with someone who fits any of the archetypes particularly well?
Yup. Countless times. I’ve heard of many political leaders rise to power through the support of their people, only to fall to corruption and become overthrown by those same people.
Thinking about this brings to mind the theory that people are promoted to the point of incompetence. The theory describes people that are promoted because they’re doing a great job in their current role, without regard for how well they’ll do in the next level.
What are the behaviors and warning signals you have seen in others at risk of losing their way?
Arrogance is perhaps the main warning sign I’ve seen. They become enamored with themselves and believe they are incapable of doing no wrong. Some go as far as to surround themselves, consciously or unconsciously, with Yes People too. ‘Tis quite a shame.
Derailment
Can you see any of the qualities of the Imposter in yourself?
Note: An Imposter is someone who rises through the organizational ranks with a combination of cunning and aggression. They understand the politics of getting ahead and let no one stand in their way.
Nope. I believe people should rise based on proven merit and potential aptitude for the next role ahead. I was once given the opportunity for a promotion, but turned it down because I knew I wasn’t ready yet and another person would fit the role better.
Can you see any of the qualities of the Rationalizer in yourself?
Note: A Rationalizer is someone who always appears on top of the issues, yet when things don’t go his/her way, he/she blames external forces or subordinates or offer facile answers to his/her problems.
Nope. It’s important to know the root causes of problems, especially when it’s yourself. Without such impartial self-awareness, it’s impossible to improve.
Can you see any of the qualities of the Glory Seeker in yourself?
Note: A Glory Seeker is someone who defines himself/herself by acclaim of the external world. Money, fame, glory, and power are his/her goals, as he/she pursues visible signs of success.
There may be a bit of this in me. Anyone who has a blog is seeking some measure of fame. If someone says otherwise, that person doesn’t understand the nature of a blog.
I don’t want to be a celebrity though. That kind of lifestyle is not for me. But I wouldn’t mind a room in a library named after me – after I’ve made a substantial difference to that community, of course. I’ll happily accept recognition if I earn it, but will never put my kids in a balloon (or not) just to get some fame.
Can you see any of the qualities of the Loner in yourself?
Note: A Loner is someone who avoids forming close relationships, seeking out mentors, or creating support networks. They believe they can and must make it on their own.
Nope. Nothing pumps me up more than to meet with people smarter than I and listen to their advice. One of my roles in life is as a constant student. In that role, I am always learning. Everyone around me is a teacher. There is something I can learn from everyone, if I listen carefully and keep an open mind.
Can you see any of the qualities of the Shooting Star in yourself?
Note: A Shooting Star is someone whose life centers entirely on his/her career. He/she is always on the go, rarely making time for family, friendships, his/her community, or even himself/herself.
Nope. My family is the most important thing in my life. I’m doing all of this for my family, after all. I’ll never compromise my time with my family.
Losing Your Way
Can you envision a situation in which you could lose your way in the future?
It’s difficult to envision that, though anything is possible. Of the derailment roles listed above, I suppose the one that holds the most risk for me is the Glory Seeker. I like to think that I’m grounded enough to never pursue fame over my family or business though. That just sounds insane.
To what extent are you prepared to go your own way and be your own person, despite external pressure?
I’m prepared all the way man! The path of an entrepreneur is full of external pressures. It’s our job to balance them and make intelligent trade-offs.
Do you have a fear of failing? In what ways? Is it because you are afraid of what other people would think about you? Is it personal pride?
No, I’m not afraid of failing. I rather welcome it. I expect to fail many times before I succeed.
That’s not to say I will be a failure. I am just realistic about the life of an entrepreneur and have my expectations set accordingly. Failure is really an opportunity to learn. Therefore, I welcome failure and look forward to the education it will impart to make me a better entrepreneur, leader, father, and person.
How is your fear of failing impacting your decisions about leadership and your career? Are you consciously or unconsciously avoiding situations in which there is a risk of failure?
I suppose I don’t need to answer this question if I’m not afraid of failing. To failure, I have this to say: In the words of Joe XXX, “Bring it on!”
How could the experience of failing help you achieve your ultimate goals?
I just wrote about this above. Failure is really an opportunity to learn. The more I learn, the easier it is, and closer I get to my ultimate goals.
In what ways do you crave success?
I crave success in myself, with my family, in my business, and in my community. The answers are broad because the vision for each is broad.
In myself, success means maturity, health, happiness, rewarding challenges, and peaceful contentment. With my family, I want the same as I want in myself, such as a healthy & happy family. In my business, success means self-sustaining profitability, the betterment of the lives of our customers, and a happy & rewarding place to work for my employees. In my community, it means some kind of improvement in the lives of my neighbors and community members.
How is your craving for success impacting your decisions about leadership and your career? Are you consciously or unconsciously choosing situations that give you a high probability of success?
My desire for succeeding in my life goals has a strong and conscious influence over the choices I make. The positions and roles I’ve held have all been a conscious stepping stone towards entrepreneurship, for example. This career in the web and the flexibility it offers was also a conscious decision, so that I could work from home often and spend more time with my family.
How would you answer these questions?
The True North exercises:
- Introduction Exercise
- Chapter 1: Your Story Exercise
- Chapter 2: Losing Your Way Exercise
- Chapter 3: Your Greatest Crucible Exercise
- Chapter 4: Knowing Your Authentic Self Exercise
- Chapter 5: Practicing Your Values and Principles Exercise
- Chapter 6: Your Motivations and Motivated Capabilities Exercise
- Chapter 7: Building Your Support Team Exercise
- Chapter 8: The Integrated Leader Exercise
- Chapter 9: The Purpose of My Leadership Exercise
- Chapter 10: Empowering Other Leaders Exercise
- Chapter 11: Honing Your Leadership Effectiveness Exercise
What’s your story? That is the question covered by the first chapter of True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership. I’m covering each of the exercises that follow the chapters of this book.
The True North exercises:
- Introduction Exercise
- Chapter 1: Your Story Exercise
- Chapter 2: Losing Your Way Exercise
- Chapter 3: Your Greatest Crucible Exercise
- Chapter 4: Knowing Your Authentic Self Exercise
- Chapter 5: Practicing Your Values and Principles Exercise
- Chapter 6: Your Motivations and Motivated Capabilities Exercise
- Chapter 7: Building Your Support Team Exercise
- Chapter 8: The Integrated Leader Exercise
- Chapter 9: The Purpose of My Leadership Exercise
- Chapter 10: Empowering Other Leaders Exercise
- Chapter 11: Honing Your Leadership Effectiveness Exercise
Discover Your Leadership in Your Life Story
During your early years, which people had the greatest impact on you?
My parents and teachers had the greatest impact on me. Both of my parents are in leadership positions, though each varies significantly in leadership style. Their range has taught me to consider a range of techniques for any given situation.
A handful of teachers also made an impression, such as my fifth-grade teacher and her weekly Poor Richard’s Almanac quotes (“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”, “A penny saved is a penny earned”, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes”, etc). I love quotes, those little nuggets of wisdom. Perhaps that love originated from fifth-grade.
Starting with your earliest memories, which experiences marked turning points in his life?
There were many. First, I was a quiet, introverted kid. Then a series of fortunate events evolved me into, surprisingly, an extrovert. The change has been so striking that I sometimes wonder if my true nature is to be an extrovert and my childhood environment nudged me into being an introvert. (Not that there’s anything wrong with being an introvert. Extroversion and introversion are merely where you get your energy and place your attention – from other people or from yourself.)
Once that foundation was set, my first true taste of leadership came in college. In my junior year, I became the public relations officer of a student-run community service organization. Then its president in my senior year. Leading a team of intelligent type-A officers and student volunteers like myself was a remarkable experience. I had to learn how to deal with my weaknesses, hone my strengths, delegate, communicate effectively, motivate officers and volunteers already swamped with school work, coordinate social events, and grow the organization.
The next turning point was becoming an engineering manager at Yahoo! (YHOO). At the peak of this role, I managed a small organization of 22 developers and first-line managers. The experience allowed me to hone a set of management techniques & principles that have become my management style.
The latest turning point has been launching WebMocha, where my leadership role evolved from leading teams to leading a company with business partners. In this role, I was fortunate to find partners who complemented my strengths and weaknesses, and I theirs. A whole new set of leadership behaviors had to be refined here, such as managing workers, dealing with client projects, winning the hearts and minds of prospective clients, managing finances, working towards profitability, etc.
There was also another significant turning point – a nearly fatal accident while skydiving. That profound experience taught me to appreciate life and view it graciously. It’s also made me realize the importance of being myself, of being authentic. Because when I’m on my death bed, what do I want to be proud of: having lived my life as someone else or having lived my life as myself?
In which experiences did you find the greatest inspiration and passion for leadership?
Any instance where someone in my team achieved greatness, success, recognition, or reached his/her own goals has been inspirational. I was fortunate enough to experience this over and over again while at Yahoo! The high I received was way better than any drug, lemme tell ya.
Looking at patterns from your early life story, what people, events and experiences have had the greatest impact on you and your life?
These questions are a bit redundant, huh? My parents and teachers had a significant impact on me. As did the events I described in the last two questions.
Can you identify instances where you were dissatisfied with your leadership or received constructive feedback from others about it?
There are a few poignant moments at Yahoo! that I regret. Having 22 members meant being responsible for evaluating the performance of many direct reports. That was more than I could handle. Arguably, it’s more than anyone could handle. As a result, some of the members I didn’t know as well didn’t get fair & accurate performance evaluations.
In one case, I had a developer with great potential, provided he had the proper guidance. Unfortunately, there were too many other priorities at the time. When review time came, he was dissatisfied with his evaluation and didn’t feel like he was working to the best of his capabilities – which was absolutely true. He ended up leaving my team and becoming a senior developer on another team. Thankfully, he was able to reach his true potential there, unlike in my team, where I feel like I failed him.
Has there been an instance in your life where you felt like a victim?
Nope. I’ve always felt that I have control over my life. The bad situations I’ve gotten into are my fault, and it’s my fault if I don’t learn from them.
Do the failures or disappointments you experienced earlier in your life constrain you, even today, or have you been able to reframe them as learning experiences?
They are definitely learning experiences. Fantastic learning experiences too. While some past experiences were very unpleasant, they’ve made me who I am today and I’m happy with who I am today. After all, “we remember some of what we are told, a little more of what we read, and almost all of what we experience.”
The Journey to Authentic Leadership
Do you currently view your life and leadership as a destination to a certain point or as a journey in which you seek to maximize your learning and experiences?
Life is always a journey. If you reach a goal or destination, then it’s time to set another goal and return to the journey.
The journey can be made much easier if you learn from previous mistakes. Otherwise, you’re doomed to repeat them. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like repeating dumb mistakes over and over again.
What are the most significant leadership experiences you have had to date and what did you learn from them?
The major life turning points I wrote about above are also some of the most significant leadership experiences I’ve had so far. From becoming the president of a student-run community service organization in college, to an engineering manager at Yahoo!, then to the principal of WebMocha, I’ve learned a lot from these wonderful experiences, which I’ve written above too. Cheers to redundant questions.
What experiences do you need to develop your leadership to take it to the next level?
The next step in my leadership education is becoming a successful entrepreneur. Fortunately, I’m already on this path with WebMocha.
If you are just entering a new phase, have you assessed the goals and experiences you would like to have during the phase?
Yes. My goals are sustainable profitability and growth from WebMocha. The experiences I’m going to learn from this journey will be invaluable.
Do you think you need to make any adjustments to your personal and leadership development as a result? If so, what are they?
I will definitely need to make adjustments. My leadership experience has been mainly people-based, as opposed to business-based. While managing a business shares many of the qualities needed to manage people and teams, there are also notable differences too. This is what I will need to learn.
This will include greater reliability on intelligence business managers & leaders in my social network for wisdom & advice. I am fortunate to have a good and varied network. As my schedule eases up, I look forward to meeting with each of them regularly.
How can you take your previous experiences and apply them more optimally to your leadership now?
The failures I’ve had will be an important lesson in the future. I know that being an entrepreneur is difficult and fraught with challenges. Failure is a certainy. Success isn’t.
How would you answer these questions?
The True North exercises:
- Introduction Exercise
- Chapter 1: Your Story Exercise
- Chapter 2: Losing Your Way Exercise
- Chapter 3: Your Greatest Crucible Exercise
- Chapter 4: Knowing Your Authentic Self Exercise
- Chapter 5: Practicing Your Values and Principles Exercise
- Chapter 6: Your Motivations and Motivated Capabilities Exercise
- Chapter 7: Building Your Support Team Exercise
- Chapter 8: The Integrated Leader Exercise
- Chapter 9: The Purpose of My Leadership Exercise
- Chapter 10: Empowering Other Leaders Exercise
- Chapter 11: Honing Your Leadership Effectiveness Exercise
For the life of me, I can’t remember who said this line:
We remember some of what we are told, a little more of what we read, and almost all of what we experience.
I don’t even remember the exact phrasing of that line. Instead of “some,” “a little more,” and “almost all,” it might have been percentages like: 25%, 50% and 100%.
It’s a good quote. At least, the sentiment behind it is sound. Everyone learns differently, but at the core, we all learn best by doing.
And sometimes, by doing and failing – because nothing is a better teacher than the harsh burn of a mistake.
I want to say Jack Welch said this line, but I can’t find a reference to it anywhere. Does this line sound familiar to you? Know what the exact wording is, or who said it?
It’s all about perceptions. You can view that horrible mistake you made last week as a horrible mistake that will scar you forever. Or you can view it as a learning opportunity. A teachable moment, in presidential parlance.
As a manager, it is your job to remove the roadblocks that hinder your team’s path. Even if the roadblock is themselves, such as fear, anger, confusion, frustration, misunderstanding, or a mistake. A roadblock such as missing information is easy to resolve. Just get them the information they require. A roadblock such as fear is harder because you’re dealing with a psychological issue.
So how do you deal with such an issue? Reframing.
Reframing is an extremely powerful technique. It involves changing one’s perception of a particular situation from a negative, disabling one to a positive, enabling one. For instance, a mistake is really a teachable moment. Something you fear is really a chance to overcome that fear. Someone who’s angered you is really a chance to better understand that person.
Let’s take a more concrete example.
You are John’s manager. John has been working with the manager of another team for weeks now. The other manager, Bill, has been micromanaging him, despite not being John’s direct supervisor. It is known amongst the department that Bill is a micromanager, as he does this to his own team too. It usually doesn’t effect you and your team, but on this project, John needs to deal with Bill and thus encounters his micromanaging style.
You’ve spoken to Bill several times about this. After each talk, he eases up a bit on John. But after a few days, he’s back to his old ways.
What can you do about this?
- Keep on talking to Bill and reminding him about his behavior every few days. This would be time-consuming, however.
- Talk to Bill’s boss. Recommend that Bill be sent to a management class. If he’s on a critical project, he may not be able to go, even for a few days. Or his boss may not agree with your suggestion.
- Get Bill off the team. Talk to his boss and the overall supervisor of the project. Recommend that Bill be replaced. That may be a long & ardorous process, depending upon the politics involved and the policies of your company.
- Talk to John and reframe the situation for him. First, talk to Bill and find out why he’s micromanaging. Get to the fundamental psychological issue. Perhaps he’s a new manager and is very nervous about his job. Explain this to John and help him to understand Bill’s point of view. Since Bill is insecure, he wants lots of communication. Work with John to come up with some low-impact processes that give Bill all the information he wants. Perhaps a daily status report or issue-tracking tool will assuage his insecurities.
- Talk to Bill and reframe the situation for him. Understand his point of view, world view, and motivations. Relate to him how his micromanagement style is effecting the team. Offer alternatives, such as daily stand-up status meetings, issue-tracking tools, or other project management techniques. You could even suggest management training or self-help books to Bill directly.
I’ve been in this situation before. My approach was both options four and five. I talked to both John and Bill to help them reframe their behaviors and perceptions. In my scenario, we set up daily stand-up status meetings. This gave Bill all the information he needed to feel comfortable and got him off of John’s back. As a result, John was much happier and more productive.
The downside was requiring a fair bit of upfront time from my busy schedule, especially on the part of Bill. I had to talk to him several times in a supportive, non-threatening manner. I related to him my struggles as a new manager and how I dealt with a perceived lack of communication and control, then helped Bill with solutions.
For John’s part, he had believed that Bill didn’t like him. He didn’t realize that Bill was insecure in his role and simply wanted more information, which he was glad to provide. Understanding Bill’s point of view also encouraged John to provide more details in his status reports.
I essentially reframed the situation for both John and Bill. I helped them both understand the other’s point of view, then worked with them to set up solutions.
Reframing is a powerful technique that can be used by managers to enable their teams to become more effective. It is the art of changing one’s perception of a particular situation from a negative one to a positive one. I was able to use it to make the lives of John and Bill easier. Hopefully it can help you on your projects as well.
Photo by: Sundials by Carmichael
I’m reading another great book right now. True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership by Bill George. He is a professor of management practice at Harvard Business School and well-respected former corporate executive. Along with coauthor Peter Sims, he wrote a great book on leadership as a follow up to his first, Authentic Leadership.
Each chapter of True North is preceded by a set of leadership exercises. I thought it would be fun to post my answers here as I went through this book.
The first exercise helps you “think about the basis for your leadership and the process you need to go through to become an authentic leader.”
The True North exercises:
- Introduction Exercise
- Chapter 1: Your Story Exercise
- Chapter 2: Losing Your Way Exercise
- Chapter 3: Your Greatest Crucible Exercise
- Chapter 4: Knowing Your Authentic Self Exercise
- Chapter 5: Practicing Your Values and Principles Exercise
- Chapter 6: Your Motivations and Motivated Capabilities Exercise
- Chapter 7: Building Your Support Team Exercise
- Chapter 8: The Integrated Leader Exercise
- Chapter 9: The Purpose of My Leadership Exercise
- Chapter 10: Empowering Other Leaders Exercise
- Chapter 11: Honing Your Leadership Effectiveness Exercise
What leaders, past of present, do you admire most?
- What is it about them that you admire most?
- Which of these leaders do you consider to be authentic leaders?
- What can you learn from their leadership?
Damn. Those are tough questions. The leaders I admire are:
- Jack Welsch – I admire the advances he’s made in the field of management and his dedication to the craft, as well as his desire to share that knowledge and encourage others to succeed, as evident in how often General Electric (GE) executives were sought after by other companies.
- Warren Buffet – I admire his sensible & long-term thinking about the investment industry and his desire to give back & teach the community.
- Bill Gates – I admire the fact that he was able to build one of the most powerful & impactful companies in the world, become the richest man in the world, then dedicate his life to humanitarian causes. Criticize him all you want, but his philantropic efforts have been enormous.
- Joel Spolsky – I admire his dedication to his craft and the thought leadership he provides through his blog. It’s obvious he loves what he does and is always challenging himself and his company to do better.
- Matt Mullenswag – I admire how he built a viable business on open-source software and attracted a huge community of developers & evangelists around something he personally cares deeply about.
To me, they are all authentic leaders. Looking at this list, I also notice that they all:
- love what they do
- believe in what they do
- give back to the community
Those core facets are what I admire most about them and what speaks “authenticity” to me. Hopefully I can emulate them and be half as good a leader as they are.
Thinking back over all your leadership experiences in your lifetime, which ones are you proudest of?
I was once the president of a cultural community service club in college. One of our activities was a street carnival that required a tremendous amount of work, especially for a busy college student with a double-major, two jobs, and officer responsibilties for a second club.
On the day of the carnival, I overslept, exhausted from my schedule. When I woke up in utter panic and rushed over to the street, I saw the carnival operating as scheduled. It was my job to meet the vendors and get them set up. So what happened?
My officers happened. They saw that I wasn’t there and stepped in to take over. At the time, I saw this as a failure of mine, but when I look back, I’m deeply proud of my team and what we did. The event also raised a lot of money for a church and their efforts to help the homeless.
During my time as an engineering manager at Yahoo! (YHOO), I had the pleasure of working with a large team of talented developers. There are dozens of seemingly small but important incidents that occurred over my time there.
For instance, there was the developer we considered a long-shot who floundered in his role for a while. Despite his performance, I always felt he was destined for more. I tried to give him as many opportunities as I could to shine in the form of side projects. One day, he was offered the perfect role for him by a team who had seen his side projects. He is now flourishing in that role.
There’s another developer who was a rock star, but didn’t realize it. Fortunately, neither did our competitors, with whom he was also interviewing. I was able to attract him to our company. I wasn’t even hiring for my team; I just knew he’d kick ass and wanted him in the company somehow. And he has definitely kicked ass.
Then there was the developer who didn’t have the solid experience we needed, but had an extra quality that intrigued me. Since hiring him, he’s risen to one of the top developers in the company. People try to woo him all the time now.
I wish I could go on – the developer who had the aptitude and eagerness to be a leader herself, and with some training, is now leading an important project; the developer who flailed nervously in his first role, then left to start his own successful company; and the developer who wanted to learn a different role and with some encouragement, training, and the right opportunities, has made it there. All of these are moments that fill me with pride whenever I think about them. I’m smiling right now as I type this.
Think about the basis for your leadership and the kind of leader you would like to be as you answer these questions:
- What qualities do you bring to leadership?
- What leadership qualities would you like to develop further?
My leadership style is that of a teacher. One of my former developers even called me his therapist and our one-on-one meetings as his therapy sessions.
I also regard myself as someone who is able to identify talent and harness it, through encouragement, reframing, training, discipline, and proper positioning. Wearing this hat, I told my team I was their agent and they, my rock stars.
While that’s great and all as a people manager, what I need to build now are my business management skills. Although I believe being good in business is largely a product of one’s knowledge of psychology (dealing with employees, customers, vendors, and other stakeholders is an interpersonal art), the ability to read a company’s key metrics is important in determining its financial & operational health.
Although I’ve always believed that I could hire someone who is smarter than me to do that, I feel I should also have that skill to some extent.
Asses yourself against the five dimensions of an authentic leader:
- Do you understand your purpose?
- Do you practice your values?
- Do you lead with your heart?
- Do you demonstrate self-discipline?
I understand that the search for a purpose can be a long, philosophical, and even spiritual journey for many people. For me, I believe a person can also choose their own purpose. I’ve already chosen mine – to improve our society fundamentally through education. The road is tough and I have a long way to go, though I’m thankfully not alone.
Everyday, I apply my values to my life. I believe that being a parent is one of the most difficult, important, and rewarding roles a person could ever play. To be a good parent, I need to be a good role model. To be a good role model, I need to live my life with honor, compassion, understanding, adaptability, discipline, and values.
Although I tend to be a cerebral thinker who decisively weighs all alternatives, if I don’t believe in an organization or goal, I cannot work in or towards it to my full extent.
Back to being a good parent, the overall sentiment is one of self-improvement. Self-kaizen, so to speak. Included in such a personal journey is constant self-discipline, the pillar for a strong mind and strong body. I don’t believe you could be an effective parent, or business owner, without self-discipline.
Do you feel that you are more effective as a leader when you are authentic, or does being authentic constrain your leadership effectiveness?
Being authentic is vastly more effective. If you are true to yourself, you’ll be able to lead with your most effective skills & talents, therefore making you a more effective leader.
Are you consciously developing your leadership abilities at this time?
I’m developing my leadership skills (as a business owner, father, etc) all the time. Also, I’m reading this book, aren’t I? Wink wink.
How would you answer these questions?
The True North exercises:
- Introduction Exercise
- Chapter 1: Your Story Exercise
- Chapter 2: Losing Your Way Exercise
- Chapter 3: Your Greatest Crucible Exercise
- Chapter 4: Knowing Your Authentic Self Exercise
- Chapter 5: Practicing Your Values and Principles Exercise
- Chapter 6: Your Motivations and Motivated Capabilities Exercise
- Chapter 7: Building Your Support Team Exercise
- Chapter 8: The Integrated Leader Exercise
- Chapter 9: The Purpose of My Leadership Exercise
- Chapter 10: Empowering Other Leaders Exercise
- Chapter 11: Honing Your Leadership Effectiveness Exercise
