Google Responds To Privacy Concerns With Unsettlingly Specific Apology

Now for some Friday fun.

Google’s (GOOG) been bad. So they issued a heartfelt and very personal apology:

Responding to recent public outcries over its handling of private data, search giant Google offered a wide-ranging and eerily well-informed apology to its millions of users Monday…

“Whether you’re Michael Paulson who lives at 3425 Longview Terrace and makes $86,400 a year, or Jessica Goldblatt from Lynnwood, WA, who already has well-established trust issues, we at Google would just like to say how very, truly sorry we are.” …

Acknowledging that Google hasn’t always been open about how it mines the roughly 800 terabytes of personal data it has gathered since 1998, Schmidt apologized to users—particularly the 1,237,948 who take daily medication to combat anxiety—for causing any unnecessary distress, and he expressed regret—especially to Patricia Fort, a single mother taking care of Jordan, Sam, and Rebecca, ages 3, 7, and 9—for not doing more to ensure that private information remains private.

There, don’t you feel better now?

Photo via: Robert Scoble

Author: Mike Lee

An idealistic realist, humanistic technologist & constant student. View all posts by Mike Lee