Marketing with Lolcats

Lolpizza Now for some Friday fun. I have a guilty secret.

I’ve been secretly coveting lolcat sites, like I Can Has Cheezburger?.

I didn’t follow them the first time around. When the second wave came, I caught it and started surfing it with glee.

(I blame LOLTrek for getting me into lolcats. Someone pointed me to that link and from there, I’ve been hooked onto lolcats ever since.)

I know, I know. But what can I say, I’m a fan of corny jokes. And lolcats are about as corny as you can get.

So when David Friedman of Ironic Sans suggested Lolcatvertisements, I thought to myself: HAHAHA!

The way I see it, companies have about a week or so left in the life of the lolcat meme to come up with some clever ads that use the lolcat format.

Take a pizza and burger joint, for example. They could start with a picture of a pizza delivery guy, with the caption “I’M IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, DELIVERING YOUR PIZZA” or it could have a picture of a burger and fries with the caption “YES YOU CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER.”

I know, I know. The lolcat thing is fading again and lots of people can’t wait for it to die. But it still makes me chuckle. Hehe.

Business Advice from a Restaurant Owner

“I forbade my daughter from opening up a restaurant,” said the restaurant owner.

“Why?” I asked. “You started a restaurant; a few of them, actually. You were very successful. Shouldn’t you be happy that your daughter wants to follow in your footsteps?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m not.” He paused and fixated on the tablecloth. “I came to this country a poor man. I worked hard, very hard, every day of my life to build these restaurants.”

He held out his arm and patted his bicep. “I had to use the muscles in my arms to build these businesses.”

I nodded.

“My daughter, I gave her an education in this country so she wouldn’t have to work hard like me. Same is true for you. Your parents came to this country and gave you an education too. What we want from you, our children, is to work smart, not hard.”

He patted his forehead. “Use the muscles in your brain, not the muscles in your arms, to build your businesses.”

He sat back in his seat and sighed. “That’s why I don’t want my daughter opening up a restaurant. And that’s why I wouldn’t advise you to open up a restaurant either.”

Biz Idea: Spyware & Virus Clean-up

Wired Magazine Sometimes I come up with random business ideas. After reading the article, “Desperate Botnet Battlers Call for an Internet Driver’s License” at Wired.com, this idea came to me.

What if there was a service that helped you clean off all the spyware and viruses on your computer? Their overall mission would be to improve the security and performance of your computer, of which cleaning up spyware and viruses is just one step. There are many other performance-enhancing steps also.

They would target non-tech savvy households with computers. The positioning would be around how insecure and fragile your computer is without the proper protection. Which conjures up imagines of laptop condoms in my head, for some reason.

Oh, but then there’s Geek Squad. This is pretty much what they do right now. Except that they’re not really positioned just for computer security and performance. Hmmm. I suppose this business idea could be a marketing idea for them too.

Problem is, I don’t know of many non-tech savvy households with computers that actually use Geek Squad. I’m not sure why. Maybe people think Geek Squad is too expensive. Maybe they don’t even know what Geek Squad is.

The service I’m talking about would aim for those not being served by Geek Squad. Some audience research could determine an available segment there somewhere, I’m sure.

Perhaps the price could be promoted at the forefront, so people know this service is affordable. They’d be known as The $20 Jiffy Lube for Laptops or something.

High school kids could make up the staff, keeping internal costs low and computer knowledge high. Because, as everyone knows, the younger you are, the more you know about computers.

I’m not sure if vehicles are necessary, like with Geek Squad. If house calls are requested, perhaps a pizza delivery model could work, where the employee drives his/her own car and is reimbursed for gas. As the business expands, a fleet could be considered.

A storefront location would be important though, to show legitimacy and professionalism. Otherwise, why would you be willing to drop off your personal laptop to a bunch of strangers? Also, this would give the high school kids a place to do their magic.

So basically, this is a computer repair shop marketed as a spyware & virus cleaner to people who notice their computers getting slower or who are paranoid about malicious software. Hmmm. Think it’ll work?

Focus On Strengths, Manage Around Weaknesses

It is more effective to invest in building strengths and working around weaknesses.

People are able to improve their strengths faster than they can their weaknesses. Why?

  • People generally have an affinity for their strengths
  • An affinity means a stronger motivation for using that strength
  • Increased usage leads to an improved strength (practice makes perfect)

For a manager, this means that the ROI of the time & effort spent on building a strength is greater than the ROI spent on building a weakness.

A weakness, in this definition, is not a trainable skill or piece of knowledge. Those can be learned and corrected. A weakness here means an innate inability to perform some part of the job well and cannot be corrected through training.

Since weaknesses hurt the employee and even their team, managers should find ways to work around those weaknesses. How?

  • Provide tools and processes to counteract the weakness
  • Partner the employee with another who has complimentary skills
  • Put the employee into a different role where the weakness is no longer a detriment

Let’s look at this concept pictorially. The chart below is a representation of Mr. Employee’s skills:

Skill Levels

If Mr. Employee was asked to build Skill C, one of his strengths, here is how it would increase over three periods of time:

Skill Levels: Increasing Strengths

However, if Mr. Employee was asked to build Skill D, one of his weaknesses, here is how it would increase over three periods of time:

Skill Levels: Increasing Weaknesses

This doesn’t mean that weaknesses shouldn’t be addressed, especially if they are a detriment to the employee’s ability to do the job. Weaknesses can be managed around, with this kind of a result:

Skill Levels: Managed Weaknesses

Now let’s take a look at an example:

Andrew is a manager of an IT consultancy. He notices that one of his consultants, Brian, has memorized the statistics for every Major League Baseball team. Andrew realizes that Brian has a strength in memorizing facts. So he builds that strength by training Brian to memorize all the facts about IT software.

Brian, however, is prone to impatience and some clients have complained about his pushy behavior. Interpersonal skills training hasn’t helped. Andrew realizes that Brian has a weakness in working with sensitive customers.

So he manages around that weakness by partnering Brian with Chris, another consultant who is great at talking to his clients, but doesn’t comes across as an expert because he has trouble memorizing all the facts about IT software. Chris’ strength is in making small talk and putting his clients at ease. He’s also grown a lot from interpersonal skills training because he finds such training fascinating.

After pairing Brian and Chris together, Andrew notices with glee that their combined efforts increase client satisfaction significantly. Andrew has successfully improved the strengths of his consultants and managed around their weaknesses.

CNBC’s Million Dollar Portfolio Challenge: Results

CNBC It’s been a while since I checked up on my CNBC’s Million Dollar Portfolio Challenge account. And oops, the contest ended a couple of weeks ago. I can’t view my last standing anymore. Bummer.

If I remember correctly, at one point I was at the 2% mark. Not bad. Not good enough to get onto the leaderboard, but not bad.

How did my stocks do, though? Hmmm, let’s take a look. Here are the prices as of last Friday’s close.

Symbol % Gain
AEIS 23.64%
AKAM -9.79%
COG 19.51%
CTSH -11.44%
NTE -4.63%
VCLK 30.67%
YHOO -5.71%
Total 5.20%

Eh, not bad for a few months. It was diversified enough (relatively speaking) to weather the volatility of these growth stocks.

I should note that I changed my strategy halfway through the contest. Instead of keeping this portfolio, I created a total of six accounts, each holding just one of these stocks. The AEIS account is what got me to the 2% mark. VCLK didn’t pop until after the contest. COG also split, giving me some nice gains.

What does this all mean? It means I’m not going to become a day trader any time soon. But 5.20% ain’t bad. At least I beat the banks by a few tenths of a percentage.

I Tag You, You Tag Me, We’re A Happy Family

MyBlogLog This is cool. Yahoo!’s (YHOO) MyBlogLog just launched a new feature: tagging.

If you’ve read all the press, you know by now how the idea fermented (Yahoo! Research Berkeley, Cameron Marlow, Tagsona – hmm someone’s already taken the domain name).

This is cool because tagging people is a whole lot of fun. As a taggee, you get to find out how friends and colleagues view you (apparently I have madskillz and am an all-around good guy! Cool!). As a tagger, you get to label your friends and colleagues by how you see them. Then there’s the whole organizational utility of tagging. Plus the inside jokes that suddenly get surfaced.

MyBlogLog’s open social network is also another benefit. You don’t have to create a profile in a walled garden like Facebook or MySpace (NWS); you can use any ole’ blog, created on any ole’ blogging tool, and use that as your profile or online identity, so to speak. (Not to say that Facebook or MySpace don’t have their benefits too.) MyBlogLog also differentiates a blog owner from a blog, thereby giving you an online identity that can be tagged.

Which makes me wonder… why don’t traditional social networks like Facebook and MySpace have profile tagging? Hmmm.

There are gotchas though. Surfacing inside jokes that may be misinterpreted by other people could be a gotcha. Unscrupulous people tagging nefariously without abandon could also be a gotcha. But the folks at MyBlogLog realize this and will no doubt have measures to “ungot” the gotchas.

So if you have a MyBlogLog account, tag me! Go on, do it! I’ll tag you back (ooo reciprocal tagging, there’s another interesting behavior).

Internet Killed The Video Star 2.0

I’ve been on an 80’s pop music kick lately. Frightening, I know. After listening to Video Killed The Radio Star by The Buggles, I had a bright idea. But before I get into that, delight your ears with:

Wow, quite a flash back, huh? Groovy.

So my bright idea. I thought: How about a rewrite of those lyrics to say “Internet Killed The Video Star”? Ooo, how geeky!

But wait. It’s been done already. By The Raconteurs. Rats.

What to do… what to do… Oh, I know – Internet Killed The Video Star 2.0! Everyone loves 2.0 stuff. It makes it sound so new. So:

Internet Killed The Video Star 2.0

I heard you on Last.fm back in two thousand two.
Sitting awake naked and surfing in on you.
Even Viacom couldn’t block your download through.

Oh-a oh

You are on TechCrunch for your mash-up technology.
Piped in from different sites by RSS feeds,
and now I understand the possibilities.

Oh-a oh
I’ve seen your website.
Oh-a oh
What did you wri-ite?
Internet killed the video star.
Internet killed the video star.

Websites came and broke your heart.
Oh-a-a-a oh

And now we meet in an analog TV show.
We hear the feedback and it seems so long ago.
And you remember how commercials used to go…

Oh-a-oh
You were the first one.
Oh-a-oh
You were the last one.
Internet killed the video star.
Internet killed the video star.

In my mind and on my screen,
Can iPod be an in-between?
Oh-a-a-a oh
Oh-a-a-a oh

Internet killed the video star.
Internet killed the video star.
In my mind and on my screen,
Can iPod be an in-between?
Websites came and broke your heart.
Put the blame on HyperCard.

You are a video star.
You are a video star.
Internet killed the video star. (x10 fade out)
(after 4x) You are a video star. (x5 fade out)

Oh-a oh (x6 fade out)

Dogs For Dollars

Doggles I visited Tokyo recently and was surprised at all the dog-related products I saw. There were clothes for dogs, costumes for dogs, even spas for dogs. Apparently this is a huge market in Japan.

Wired just ran a story about dog gadgets, entitled: Doggie Style: Cell Phones, Webcams and GPS for Hounds. Yup, seriously.

Other products include a treadmill (“made especially for little dogs who need an aerobic workout but never leave the apartment”), a pedometer that shows how many steps your dog has taken, a paw-shaped doorbell for your dog, and, of course, Doggles (pictured here), with 100% UV protection and flexible rubber frames.

Wow. What a market. The article adds that “in Japan, more households had pets than kids in 2006.” It certainly did seem that way when I was in Japan; Tokyo struck me as a very pet-friendly city. I didn’t see any pets in the subway or department stores, but most people had tiny dogs which could fit into pocketbooks and be carried to those places.

Most, if not all, of these products are available to US customers as well. The California Bay Area is also pet-friendly area. I could see many of the products and services in Japan work just as well here. Hmmm. Anyone want to start a pet spa with me?

Oops, damn, it’s already been done. (And, to be fair, I’ve seen a few clothing shops for dogs here too.)