Prospects vs Customers in Hell

Want to hear a great story? This one is from Less is More: How Great Companies Use Productivity by Jason Jennings.

On the ride to heaven a consumer is informed he’ll have the opportunity of sampling both heaven and hell before deciding where he wants to reside for time immemorial. A bit nervous but wanting to get it over with, he decides to sample hell first. After a long elevator ride down, he is greeted by a friendly guy in a tuxedo. Before him is a vast hall filled with great music, a nonstop party, wonderful food and booze, and all his friends who have gone before him. Reminded after a while that it’s time to sample heaven, he gets back on the elevator and up he goes.

Upon arrival in heaven there are lots of little angel wings and soft harp music but no party. Frankly, it suffers in contrast. After floating on a puffy white cloud for a while he’s approached by Saint Peter, who asks if he’s made a decision. “Yeah, I have. No offense to you, Pete, but this place is pretty boring. I think I’ll pick hell.”

With a click of his saintly fingers our consumer finds himself back in hell but this time a nasty-looking Lucifer with horns, tail and pitchfork greets him and he’s surrounded by ranting and wailing people boiling in cauldrons.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asks. “This isn’t the hell I remember!”

“That’s right, it’s not,” grins the devil. “The last time you were here you were a prospect. Now you’re a customer!”

He didn’t write the story himself, but doesn’t remember the original source. If you know where it came from, let me know. Great story though!

Don’t treat your customers like crap just because they’re no longer prospects. Be consistent in your customer service. Treat them great, no matter where they are in your pipeline.